Archive for January 31st, 2008

Remembering Heath Ledger

I was standing around my local comic shop, BSI Comics, yesterday. And I asked if they had heard the latest news about the upcoming Batman film, The Dark Knight. That of course, got us talking about Heath Ledger, and how the producers are scaling down the publicity campaign (which to this point had been focused on him) out of respect.

The world has been absolutely abuzz since the “shocking” news of actor Heath Ledger’s death. People are just torn up over it. They can’t stop talking about it. So let me be the first to say… Who gives a shit?

Jack Nicholson was pissed off that the producers of The Dark Knight did not consult him before casting Heath Ledger as the Joker. Apparently, Ledger needed Nicholson’s permission before assuming a role that he neither created nor even did a good job of portraying. So when Douchebag Jack found out Ledger died, he ominously stated “Well, I warned him.” like he put a fucking voodoo hex on him or something. He really is a twat.

I don’t feel nearly as strongly as Douchebag Jack, but I don’t really understand the public outcry. I’m sorry that a man is dead. I’m sorry his infant daughter will never know her Dad. But why is everyone so disturbed by HIS death? Everyone keeps talking about how he was this amazing, promising actor. Where do they get that from? The first time I heard of Ledger, was when I saw a film based on Shakespear’s Taming of the Shrew, called 10 Things I Hate About You.

I loved that film. I still do. I think it was a high point in teen comedies. Then later I saw that giant, rockin’ anachronism known as A Knights Tale. Again, really liked it. Liked him in it, but not once have I ever watched him and thought “Wooooooowwwww. This guy is incredible. I HAVE to see all his movies.” He was okay. Good. That’s it. Since then he’s done a string of forgettable films.

Yeah, I know, I’m forgetting Brokeback Mountain. Well, there’s a reason for that: I’m trying to. I’m sure it was a wonderful film. But I’m not seeing it. Because to me, it’s a joke. I’m not against homosexuality portrayed in film. It’s just that I think the writer was making a joke. Let me walk you through this.

The writer says to himself “I want to write an honest love story about two gay men struggling with their own sexuality and the ramifications their forbidden love has on their life and families. Let’s see, how should I do that??? …. EUREKA! I’ll make it about two cowboys on a mountain fucking each other in the ass!”

That’s a joke. If I wanted to see a movie about a cowboy receiving anal sex, I’ll watch the Village People biopic.

Seriously, the only way it could have been more stereotypical was if it were about firemen giving each other pearl necklaces. Take that however you like.

And even if Ledger did give the performance of his career, is it really that impressive that a Hollywood actor made a great gay man? Do you have any idea how much these actors fuck each other? These people make Caligula look like Seventh Heaven (although I secretly believe the subtext of that show was in fact based on him).

The latest news (rumor?) is that Heath hadn’t had a chance to record any of his dialogue for The Dark Knight.

They’re saying that someone else is going to have to record it for him, or else they have no film. Unlike Ledger’s death, this does actually affect me, since I’m a Batman fan. This could be really, exceedingly bad. If the voice actor who replaces him sucks, it will be really distracting. And I doubt they’ll hire Mark Hamill (whose iconic portrayal of the Joker on Batman TAS had forever branded him as The Joker in my mind).

So with that in mind, I have a suggestion. I say they throw caution to the wind and just make it a comedy. Dub over all of the actors’ voices. Hire Frank Caliendo to play them.

Imagine him as John Madden playing the Joker.

Or George W Bush as Batman.

And Bill Clinton as Harvey Dent/ Two Face.

We’ve got a blockbuster on our hands, people.

I don’t mean to be crass about a man’s death. My sympathies to his family. But to the rest of you, there are more important things going on in this country than a dead actor. It’s Hollywood. THEY’LL MAKE MORE.

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