Which Naruto Character Are You?

I have a confession to make. I’m totally obsessed with the show Naruto.

Aren’t you? Well why the fuck not? It’s like the most kick ass kung fu show ever… in cartoon form. If you’re not watching it, you should be. And this is coming from someone with severe Dragonball Z burnout. That show used to be the only palatable action anime available to nerds like me. The problem was that show just took itself too damn seriously. The decompressed story lines were ridiculous. A single fight scene would take around 8 episodes, 7 of which consisted of two characters standing around talking about stuff… like their goddamn childhood. And then something cool would happen, and then there would be 17 more episodes of talking. So I was sort of done with anime, or at least the action shows. (Japanese cartoonists aren’t afraid to address complex adult concepts in their work, so it isn’t all a child’s idea of cartoons, sometimes it is high concept art… and then sometimes it’s porn.) But I stumbled onto Naruto one day, and I’ve been hooked. There are resemblances to DBZ, except that stuff actually happens on this show. The method of storytelling is typical of the Japanese, complex and character driven. It features a HUGE and diverse cast of characters, all serving a unique purpose in the Naruto universe.

And that’s kind of what I wanted to talk about today. I was talking a while back to another Naruto fan, and it occurred to me that you can tell a lot about someone based on their favorite Naruto character. It sounds stupid, but follow me through a list of a few of them, and then tell me: Which Naruto character are you?

NARUTO UZUMAKI

Naruto is the perpetual outsider. Born an orphan and branded dangerous from birth, he spent his entire life being singled out and extricated by both his peers and adults alike. He isn’t particularly smart or talented, but has grown by leaps and bounds simply by working hard and never, ever giving up. In just a few short years, he went from a class joke to one of the elite ninja at the academy. He has made close friends that he considers his family, but despite this, in many ways they still don’t understand him, and sometimes treat him very badly (particularly the opposite sex). Despite Naruto’s inadequacies, he boasts that he will be the greatest ninja of all one day, though it is clear he often feels inferior around some of his friends, such as Sasuke. But he refuses to give up. “I never go back on my word!”

You may be Naruto if: you feel isolated and singular in the world and push yourself to be the best just so people will treatyou with respect.

SASUKE UCIHA

Sasuke is one of the most gifted ninja of his generation. And he knows it. His fear of losing those he cares about simultaneously drives him to distance himself from them and protect them. Though he knows he is immensely talented, he constantly wonders if he is strong enough to deal with the obstacles in front of him or to protect his friends. His obsessive needs to be the best has led him down dark paths and away from the people that care about him.

You may be Sasuke if:  You are driven by the horrors of your past and fear that you are not strong enough to protect the people you love.

SAKURA HARUNO

Sakura is in many ways the Ugly Duckling of the story. She grew up as the least talented female ninja ninja, and was ridiculed by other girls her age for her large forehead. Her friend Ino helped her come out of her shell, but she remained in Ino’s shadow until they became bitter rivals for Sasuke’s affection. She is in love with Sasuke, despite the fact that he is clearly self destructive and their relationship has gone from bare tolerance to friendship. Her devotion to the idea of romance to the bad boy has caused her to over look the affections of boys like Naruto and Rock Lee who treat her better and go out of their way to prove themselves to her (and actually save her life on multiple occasions). Sakura has come into her own, and does not feel the need to prove herself to Ino nearly as much.

You may be Sakura if:  you don’t believe that you are as pretty or as smart as the popular girls.  Also, if you constantly fall for the bad boy rather than the one who truly loves you.

ROCK LEE


Rock Lee is much like Naruto in that he is considered a talentless loser. In spite of the ridicule of others and a total lack of natural talent, he has dedicated himself to becoming a great ninja solely through hard work. He has only two goals: to be great and to beat a natural born “genius” ninja in combat (particularly his comrade and rival, Neji Hyuga). And his hard work has payed off greatly. Though he still possesses none of the more “magical” ninja abilities, he is far and away the strongest and fastest hand to hand fighter of his village.

You may be Rock Lee if:  you were branded a failure at a young age, but worked harder and longer than anyone else around you (possibly surpassing everyone).  You maybe Rock if you are the underdog who’s done good.

SHIKAMARU NARA

Shikamaru is an uncharted genius. Though he is not as talented at Ninja abilities as many of his friends, his ability to out think opponents and calculate the best strategies while even in combat make him a formidable opponent. But he’d rather not get involved. He is incredibly lazy. Shikamaru is a genius who is bored with life and would rather lay about and stare at clouds. The one thing that will get him motivated is when someone hurts his friends.

You may be Shikamaru if:  you are an unmotivated genius, brilliant strategist and good friend.

NEJI HYUGA


Neji is more in line with the kind of genius that Sasuke is than Shikamaru. He is one of the most naturally gifted ninja in his village, and he knows it. Unlike Sasuke, he never believed that he wasn’t strong enough, and looked down upon those he considered “failures”, such as Naruto and (especially) Rock Lee and his cousin Hinata. His behavior was in many ways villainous until he fought the greatest failure of them all, Naruto. His defeat at Naruto’s hands inspired great humility in him. He has even had moments of self sacrifice for others.

You may be Neji if: you are beautifully talented, unbareably arrogant and badly in need of a lesson in humility.

HINATA HYUGA

Hinata is the perpetual wallflower, afraid of her own shadow.  In fact, she has spent her entire life in the shadow of others, despite the fact that she comes from the great and powerful Hyuga clan.  She is nowhere here near as talented as her cousin Neji.  Her father considers her a burden, unworthy of her heritage, and sent basically disowned her, leaving Hinata in the care of her teacher.  The one person who brings her out of her shell is her secret crush, Naruto.  His relentless efforts to prove himself inspire her to do the same, particularly when he is near.

You may be Hinata if:   you are quiet and assuming; afraid to speak up so as not to appear foolish.  Submissive to the will of others.   And if you’re in love with a great guy who happens to be too stupid to know how you feel about him.

CHOUJII AKIMICHI

Choujii is the kid that gets pissed when you call him fat but will eat twice as many slices of pizza as everyone else and actually fights you for that last one.   He doesn’t care much about being a great ninja.  He just wants to eat and hang out with his only real friend, Shikamaru.  Only two things will make him fight you, calling him fat or hurting his friends.

You may be Choujii if:   you are defined by your obesity.  Or if the best people can think to say about you is you’re “really nice”.

INO YAMANAKA

Ino was the most popular girl in her class.  She is smart, beautiful and talented.   She behaves badly and mistreats others at times, but deep down she cares for the people in her life, even Sakura her rival. 

You may be Ino if:  you’re that girl and everyone loves you.   You have a tendancy to insult your friends or fight with your best friend over a guy.   There is more to you inside, but you never show it through your superficial exterior.

GAARA

Gaara is hate personified.   His soul was bonded to a sand demon before he was born, causing others to fear him.  Though he was a very sweet, albeit tortured child, the contempt and betrayal of those around him including those he loved made him hate the world.  He gave himself over to his rage and believes his one purpose in life is to kill everyone.

You may be Gaara if:  you have been treated like a freak by everyone and have never known another’s love.   You feel that those around you should be made to pay for what they have done.  You think everyone else deserves pain as well.

NOTE: if you are anything like Gaara  SEEK PSYCHIATRIC HELP IMMEDIATELY!

JIRAIYA

Jiraiya is not quite a father figure for Naruto, but more of a wise yet horny Uncle.   He is one of the greatest ninjas who ever lived, and one of the biggest perverts.   Jiraiya is often torn between teaching Naruto to become a great ninja and peeking on young girls in the shower.

You may be Jiraiya if you are:    A.  a great ninja   or B.  have ever been in prison for molesting a teenage girl.

NOTE:  If you are anything like Jiraiya… WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU???

TSUNADE

 

Tsunade is the reluctant leader of the Leaf Village, Naruto’s home.   She has lost most of the people she loves to war.   Now she is a bitter woman who tries to numb the pain with alcohol and gambling.    Though she is actually around fifty, she conceals her identity and looks to be about thirty in appearance.

You may be Tsunade if:   you are a bitter old hag.  You will never allow people to know your true age.   You have lost more pairs of clothing at strip poker than you currently own.   You have enormous breasts.

So there you have it.  Did anyone make it through to the end?

Personally I would like to say I am a Rock Lee…

but most likely I’m Naruto.   Then again, lately I look more like Choujii.

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8 responses to this post.

  1. It’s funny that you bring up DBZ in comparison to Naruto, since they were both originally published in the same manga– Shonen Jump. Bet you knew that, though!

    I identify with Shikamaru the most, though I don’t claim to be a genius. Plus, he’s just hawt! 😛

    Reply

  2. Yeah, I knew. I never read the manga, though. Actually some of Naruto was influenced by aspects of Goku.

    Shikamaru? Interesting. I’d’ve thought him the least relateable.

    Reply

  3. I honestly don’t believe there are many anime out that don’t look to DBZ as a guide.

    Since we’re current on Naruto (we watch the Japanese because my husband is impatient) we recently started watching Bleach. Have you seen any of it?

    Reply

  4. Posted by karu-chan on July 11, 2008 at 7:00 pm

    Wierdo!

    Reply

  5. You know it’s really pathetic that some moron felt the need to leave a comment like that. He even misspelled weirdo. What are the odds this person will be breeding by the age of 15?

    Reply

  6. Posted by narutono1 on September 20, 2008 at 3:40 pm

    hey dont worry i am totally obsessed with naruto when my teacher is teaching a pull a paper and start drawing naruto but the only bad thing is iam 11

    Reply

  7. I am SO NARUTO! though i’m not an orphan, i’m still not the smartest and i’m wierd. also, people say i’m annoying. but i do have very close friends, ans one of them i think of as a sister… anyway…. i also act strange too, i act too much like a cat but i don’t really care

    Reply

  8. Posted by Rebecca on November 22, 2008 at 8:10 am

    I am a cross between 3 people. Naruto because i never like to give up and dont go back on my words. Sasuke because I always think i’m not strong enough to protect my friends and Hinata I’m pretty shy and try to stay outta the way.

    This thing is pretty acurate. RIGHT ON!

    Reply

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