Everybody Wants To Get Laid

Sometimes I get annoyed with women complaining about the way society treats them.  Some of those complaints are fair.  Women statistically make less than men who have the same job.  Now, I don’t know whether the women out-perform the men on those jobs, but a statistic is a statistic.

But then there are other complaints.

Like the one about the media expecting women to live up to weight and beauty standards.  Cry me a fucking river.   First of all, the media just expects you to spend money on what they’re advertising.  They could give a rat’s pussy what you look like.  Secondly, it isn’t the media that expects you to live up to those standards.  It’s other women.   It’s women who define fashion and beauty standards.  Certainly it isn’t men.  By and large, men are clueless in those areas.   In general, we care about three things: big tits, deep throating and your ability to make us a sandwich.   The rest of it is just gravy and personal taste.  It’s women who decide that Paris Hilton and some worthless moron from Laguna Beach is the role model for underage girls.   And thirdly:  men are expected to live up to societal standards too.  You have to be masculine, good at sports, a great fighter, and be a natural born stud.  The difference between men and women?  You don’t get the shit kicked out of you if you fail to live up to those standards.

Another big one is the slut issue.

“Why is it that if a girl loves sex, she’s a slut? Yet if a man fucks around, he’s a hero?”   Well, going back to my first response, it’s because of women.  I can honestly say the number of times I’ve heard a woman say “She’s SUCH a SLUT!”  dwarfs, eclipses and laps the number of times I’ve heard men say it.  Sure, SOME guys may treat women like sluts, but those are usually dipshits who in fact are male whores themselves.  But we don’t sit around gossiping about people.  WE don’t call you sluts unless you are truly heinous.  The fact is, we just don’t give a shit.  If a chick gets around, it’s better for us.  Free pussy!  Who’s going to say no?   Do we treat that chick differently?  Sure. But again, it’s not exactly as you perceive it to be, ladies.   First, the definition of slut depends on the guy.  If you’ve fucked more than one guy in a single day on more than one occasion, I’d say you’re a whore.  But I would say the same thing about a guy (three-ways being the exception).  My definition of slut really has to do with how much a girl respects herself.  For instance, I recently found out a sixteen year old girl that I know fucked five dudes in one night.  Now ignoring the fact that there’s a very real chance she’s contracted and spread at least one STD, and her odds of ending up on Maury Povich for playing the Russian Roulette version of Whose my Baby Daddy?— this girl has fucked more people in one night than I have in my whole life.  That’s a little slutty.  Would I call her a whore? No.  She has self-esteem issues.  The men on the other hand?  Well, let me just ask– what kind of nasty motherfucker jumps past sloppy seconds and says to himself “I’ll go fifth!”?   Now all things being equal, would I go out with this girl who I’ve just said was slutty?  Maybe. If somewhere down the line she learned to respect herself.  It just depends.  But there’s a big difference between going out with a nice girl who has issues and going out with Courtney Love.   It’s not her sexual appetite that’s the problem.  It’s HER.

Take for instance the character of Sex and the City.   It’s not the fact that they love sex that leads me to believe they’re a bunch of used up, torn out pussy, crack whores.   It’s the fact that all they ever did was talk about dick.  Ladies, believe me when I say that I have met some skanky, nasty guys.  Men for whom the term Dirty Sanchez is not a move, but a well-earned nickname.  But even those fucking deviants don’t talk about fucking anywhere near as much in a day as those women did in a forty minute show.  Crack whores.  It’s not that they loved sex, it’s that their vaginas were a stadium turnstile.

By contrast, women are quick to call another girl slut or whore.  In many ways, I believe slut has become the female equivalent of “gay” or “fag”. It’s been bandied about so much that it’s lost most of it’s meaning but none of it’s sting.  For one woman to call another a slut, it implies that she’s sexually prodigious, but really means “trash” or “undesirable”.  Mostly though, I think it’s a term of jealousy.     If a girl has the man you want, “why would he be with that SLUT?”  If she got promoted over you, “She probably sucked the boss’ dick. She’s such a SLUT.”   It’s meant to imply that someone is beneath you.

See the thing is, as smart as women are– and more often than not, women are smarter than men– women don’t really understand women.   The reason being that women lie more often than men do.  Women don’t just lie to other people, they lie to themselves constantly.

It’s easy to blame the media and men and society at large.  And they each bare some responsibility.  But maybe you should think about what I said the next time you and your friends are bad mouthing some girl at work that you don’t like.

“Women have all the power.  You know why?  Because women have all the vaginas.”  ~Dave Attell


8 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by prometheustherebel on July 16, 2008 at 9:11 pm

    I find it interesting that you say that women are the only ones who care what women look like and then in the next phrase you say “all men care about are big tits,” sex and food. This seems illogical to me, and in addition to that, do you really believe that’s all men care about? It saddens me that many of us have this narrow view of what it means to be a man. What about being responsible, resourceful, and compassionate?

    To quote that women have all the power because they have the vaginas further confirms that gender role rigidity. If you believe all you care about is big tits, sex, and food then own that yourself, don’t seek comfort in bringing every other man with you.

    Furthermore, if women didn’t see some men lose all motor and verbal ability when watching a big-breasted woman on tv then maybe they wouldn’t feel so insecure about themselves, because more often than not, their partners aren’t explaining to them that they’re incredible. And think about this next time you hear about a woman call another woman a slut, more than likely, it is in the prescence of one, if not more, men. Just like men put other men down by calling someone a “fag” or “pussy” women call each other “bitches” and “sluts.” In both instances its a way in which we gain power over the other person, trying to make them feel like less of a man/woman. I will agree with you that it comes from a place of insecurity and judgement. Who’s business is it to say how many partners is unacceptable anyway?


  2. Man, you reeeeeeeeeally need to get a sense of humor. I was obviously joking about big tits comment. But I never said that women are the only ones who care about looks. I said women decide what is acceptable and standard. Meaning men don’t tell women how they should be, they go for what they find attractive. Which is animal nature, not sexism. That’s my point.

    And the Dave Attell quote is hilarious.

    As for the last paragraph, half of it is you repeating what I said.


  3. Posted by prometheustherebel on July 17, 2008 at 11:16 am

    If women decide what is acceptable and standard, why do most mainstream porn stars look the same (which most women do not watch)?


  4. Your argument is that porn is the standard by which women measure themselves? Seriously? Have you ever seen a porn flick?

    Not all women try to look like Stormy Daniels. They try to look like Britney Spears (young girls) or Paris Hilton. Or one of those Laguna Beach girls. And who watches those women and those shows? Uhhh… women.

    And by the way, your generalization that most women don’t watch porn is unfounded. The vast majority of porn is purchased and watched by men, but there are a large percentage of women that watch porn. And if you count those pornographic romance novels which feature slender, busty women on the cover and in the stories, those number shift dramatically.


  5. Posted by pillowtalker on July 17, 2008 at 3:36 pm

    You’re completely dismissing how women feel conflicted about “slut” messages around their sexuality because you say men can be whores too but the difference is, that unlike men, women are aware that their sexuality – the way they use it “sluts” or the way the don’t “prudes” – is the primary way women are defined in our society….unlike with men.

    The same can be seen with arguments of race. The reason racial slurs are seen as so demeaning is because it robs people of their personhood and makes them nothing more than just their race.

    Additionally, you even state that the definition of a “slut” depends on the guy, which I completely agree with but isn’t this unfair and dangerous for female sexuality?

    But you are right women police each other just as much or even more than men police women but I would say that this is because, in a society that places so much weight on a woman’s sexuality that women know if they can make another woman look bad and like a “slut” then her status can rise…..


  6. I’m not sure what your life is like, but most of the women I’ve met don’t define themselves primarily by their sexuality. MAybe you do. But that’s just stupid. For one thing, there’s a lot more than just slut and prude. There are women who have only slept with one guy who are down for crazy shit. And conversely there are women who have slept with dozens of guys, but only in relationships.

    Secondly, there’s a whole lot of “poor me” syndrome going on there. If someone calling you a slut or a wetback or whatever takes away from you as a person, you need to grow thicker skin. Things are tough all over for everyone. Yes, words hurt. But so what? Everyone has problems. Maybe one girl is called a slut or a prude and people treat her differently. Awww… what a shame. The world isn’t fair. Who knew? Is it any different than the quiet, fat girl that no one talks to? Or people like me that are treated like freaks because we love comics? No. It isn’t.

    I define me. If someone else wants to put labels on it like Wop or Dago or fat tub of shit, well that sucks. But no one took anything away from me.


  7. Posted by prometheustherebel on July 17, 2008 at 8:25 pm

    Some would categorize those “novels” and such as erotica, just a thought. And, now I would be incredily stupid, for lack of a better term, to think that women measure themselves by porn stars. The point I was going for was, more men watch porn than women, so men are saturating themselves with images of unrealistic standards (this also includes Hollywood stars, because none of them look that good without the makeup, hair, etc). I think it’s incredibly ignorant to believe that men’s consumption of hypersexed media in no way affects their perceptions of what femininity is THUS the women they surround themselves with are privy to their expectations that their breasts look like Jenna Jameson’s or they look as skinny as Paris Hilton. I’m not attacking you, just your logic…there is a difference. I respect your opinion entirely. I just have not heard you mention men’s stake in the issue of female beauty standards. To forget this is a grave mistake.


  8. Just a thought, erotica is pornography. The terminology is just semantics.

    Furthermore, its damn near impossible to surround yourself with women that look like Jenna Jameson. And I don’t even know any guys that think a woman who is as skinny as Hilton is attractive. In fact most guys I know prefer girls with a little meat on them. And really, no guy wants to be with a porn star. FUCK, yes. But not be with them.

    Men don’t have much of a role in female beauty standards because women don’t really understand what men want. Women don’t even know what THEY want.

    It’s kind of hard to argue with my logic when you don’t have a centralized argument.


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