An Open Letter to Sarah Palin

Dear President of the United States of Adam’s Fantasies (aka Sarah Palin),

Ma’am, I have always considered myself somewhat progressive… not liberal, mind you… but progressive.  I believe a woman can do everything a man can do, sometimes much better than us.  Everything, that is, except drive and be President.   I am here to publicly admit that I was wrong (not about the driving, just the President thing).  I realize the error of my chauvinistic ways.  I want you to run my country as surely as I want you to rock my world.

And not just because Obama is the most unqualified candidate I’ ve ever seen and McCain was once Jesus’ fishing buddy.  No, I want you to be President in part because you are the only candidate with any actual experience running a government, but also because you are insanely hot for a forty four year old woman.   I want to have hot monkey sex with you on the desk of the oval office while giving the thumbs up to pictures of Bill Clinton, John F Kennedy, Elvis Presley, and the original playas, Thomas Jefferson and Abrahan Lincoln. (word.)  I want to give you my Lincoln Log in the Lincoln Bedroom.   Cock slap you at the Jefferson Memorial.  Doggie dong you in the Washington Monument. I’ll give you the Presidential Staff!  And break in congress while doing you Clinton style (anal sex while eating a jelly donut off your back) in front of the enitre House of Representatives.

Think of the possibilities!

A country united by your killer rack!  Peace finally achieved in the middle east as you conduct the treaty discussions like Sharon Stone In Basic Instinct!   And the State of the Union Address would get more viewers than the Superbowl when you conduct it topless!

We could achieve a world wide utopia previously undreamt of besides the fantasies of hippies fueled by tremendous hits of PCP.

All because of you Governor Palin.

And your ass that I could bounce quarters off of.

Hail to the Chief!!!!!

(I’m giving you the third arm salute, baby.)

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