The Mann’s Chinese Theatre Candidate

ELECTION 2008!  NOW IN HD!

That’s it.  I’m sick of this.  The election has officially pissed me off.  I don’t care who wins.  Flip a fucking coin.  It doesn’t matter, because we as a (and I use the term loosely) society have lost our fucking minds.

We don’t participate in the democratic process anymore.  We’re spectators in a three-ring circus culminating in a steel cage death match.  It’s brutal, it’s glorious, it’s HOLLYWOOD, BABY!!!

Fuck it.

It started years ago.  The decline of heroes began when they shot JFK and RFK and MLK… oh shit, that’s a lot of K’s.  bad sign. Nature abhors a vacuum. In the absence of people to believe in, The Godless Society conundrum took effect.  People started looking at Celebrities as heroes; people to be worshipped.  After all, they lead glamorous lives, so why not treat them as the deities they appear to be?   But it wasn’t long before celebrities decided to develop a social conscience.  Jane Fonda was one of the most famous first offenders.  Hanoi Jane, who had never been considered… well, smart… decided she knew better than anyone else.  She didn’t need intellect!  She had the power of fame and rockin’ tits!  Not that Vietnam wasn’t a fiasco which cost the lives of a lot of unfortunate souls, but still.  Her mouth gave way to the concept of the “liberal, responsible, shitbag celebrity.”  People like Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins, Janeanne Garafalo, Ed Begley, Leo DiCaprio, Angelina Jolie, Sean Penn, The Dixie Chicks and so on and so on.   Now on the one hand, a social conscience is a great thing. But only when used by someone with a fucking brain.

The problem is this.  Celebrities are NOT the Gods that they are treated as.  And playing a environmental scientist in a movie DOES NOT MAKE YOU A GENIUS OR AN EXPERT.  They think because they talked with actually intelligent people for thirty minutes so they can get into the role that they have somehow become experts in the field.  But they’re not. They’re just ordinary people with opinions like you and me.  They listen to the same idiots that you or I would.  But the weak minded actually believe the hype.  “Leo votes for Obama????  OMG he’s so smart and dreamy.  I am SOOOOO voting for Obama!  And I’m going to stop taking showers so I can do my part to protect the enviro!  Now lets get a triple mocha soy espresso latte`!”  Damn hippies.  

Anyway, as bad as it’s always been, this election is perhaps the most ridiculous of all time.  You see in the last 10 years we have been inundated with internet hype, viral videos and ‘reality tv’.  And as each day passes by, the three become closer related.  Watch CNN or Fox News, or even your own local station.  It’s become the fucking Real World.  Your news stations are turning into tabloid journalism.  It’s sensationalistic, repetitive and often full of misinformation.  Of course some people prefer to get their info from websites.  Not much better.  You have no more way of knowing if the website’s info is correct than the television.

But none of that is what is driving me nuts.

The real problem is that we have gone from realiteevee news and celebrity endorsements to celebrity candidates.  Why do we need Susan Sarandon or Janeane Garafalo when we can have Hilary or Palin?  Bye bye Brad Pitt.  Hello John McCain.  And even Angelina can’t keep up with OBAMANIA!  WOO!

Fuck it.

This is ridiculous.  Obama is by far the worst offender with his cult of personality and ridiculous viral videos (Obama Girl, anyone?).  But he’s not alone.  McCain was on The CMT Awards and the Daily Show just like the rest of them! And bobble heads!  AND COMIC BOOKS!!!!!  There are electoral candidate comic books. Why??   And Baskin-Robbins now has ice cream flavors named for them.  It’s insane. The World is FUBAR.  We have become a ridiulous parody of our own society.  South Park is a more non-partisan political show than The Daily Show or the Today Show.  We are officially a bunch of knuckle-dragging monkeys.

ENOUGH ALREADY!!!  Jane, stop this crazy thing… called celebrity.

Where will we be as a nation 10 years from now?  Will we even be functional?  Or will daily life have become a daily version of the special olympics?

I am exhausted.  Make it stop.

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5 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Ad Astra on September 29, 2008 at 9:15 pm

    Obama was on the Daily Show before John McCain.

    Aaaaand, it was before he was announcing his running 🙂

    It’s the game. I’m voting for Mickey Mouse on the fill in personally (not really, I can’t vote).

    Reply

  2. Astra~

    Actually McCain was on the Daily Show after the last election. He’s run before. But it was well before anyone knew who Obama was. McCain is sort of a recurring guest on the show.

    Why can’t you vote? You’re 19!

    Reply

  3. OM~

    damn hippies.

    : )

    Reply

  4. Posted by Ad Astra on September 30, 2008 at 10:53 am

    Oh man, do I feel stupid. Opps.

    Technical problem. Ugh.

    Reply

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