Books By Their Cover 10-1

Welcome to the inaugural edition of Books by their Cover, where I review some of this week’s comics merely by looking at their cover.   Seriously.

 

Batman #680

Batman #680

The Dark Knight faces off against the deadly Club of Villains.  Backed into a corner, Batman does the unthinkable!  He takes a massive dump on the floor, forcing his arch-foes to run from the stench.  Even Robin is completely grossed out at the sight of a forty year old man in a Bat costume shitting himself in a sanitarium.  “Look dude… I think it’s time I got my own place.”   This is exactly the kind of mindblowing, swing for the fences comic that makes Grant Morrison a genius.

 

Nightwing

Nightwing

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

With Batman absent, Dick Grayson seeks to take up the slack, resulting in a deadly game of Twister! I’m not sure about the premise.  I mean, everybody loves Twister, but there’s only one chick and she’s watching.   Its a sausage fest. Pass.

 

Manhunter

Manhunter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

During a sleepover, Kate’s best friend gets her period. In a house without tampons, Manhunter will show us all why she kills men.

I’m sold.

 

Jonah Hex

Jonah Hex

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In a very special issue, Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Gray explore the ramifications of Jonah’s camel toe.  You had me at “camel toe”.  I was a little disappointed at the end when Jonah spends ten pages crying into his beer, whining to the bartender about having a man-gyna.

 

The Third Kryptonian

SUPERMAN: The Third Kryptonian

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

198 pages of the Man of Steel walking like an egyptian. A revealing look at how the Man of Tomorrow was put here on Earth, not to save us from ourselves, but to shake what his Mama gave him.

Surprising satisfying.   Right on.

 

Marvel Apes #3

Marvel Apes #3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Even as a monkey, Kirsten Dunst is a whiny bitch.

Bah.  Rehash of Spider-man 2.  But with the benefit of monkey Peter Parker not coming off really really gay.

 

Punisher War Journal #24

Punisher War Journal #24

Alone, behind bars.  Frank Castle… uhh… “takes matters into his own hands.”

I saw a movie like this once.  Dad grounded me for a month when he caught me watching it.

 

the Depths #2

Sub Mariner: the Depths #2

Namor finally comes to terms with the side of himself he’s denied all these years.  And the readers discover a new context for the name “the depths”.

What is this, Oz week at Marvel?  (OH COME ON! THIS IS CLEARLY MAN RAPE ON THE COVER.)

Well folks, thats all for this week’s addition.  Tune in next time for more inappropriate gay and doody jokes.  Bye yall.

~Adam

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6 responses to this post.

  1. OMG, this is hilarious. I LOVE it!

    Reply

  2. THANK YOU! Finally! Been waiting on feedback for this segment since I wrote it! I’m thinking of doing this weekly.

    Reply

  3. Bwahahahahahahahaha! I think it’s a keeper! The first is my favorite.

    Reply

  4. That last image is tres homoerotic. By that I mean, HAWT.

    Reply

  5. Ummm… I’m not sure homo-EROTIC is the word for that. Namor appears to be giving him dick like he owes him money. notice the left leg on top of the rape-ee to give him full cock leverage. Niiiiiiiiiiiiice. Even if I am creeped the fuck out, I have to admire his stroke technique!

    (oh and OM? no lube asshole! NOOO LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUBE!)

    Reply

  6. Posted by Ad Astra on October 2, 2008 at 11:10 pm

    Yes. Yes. And more yes.

    I could see myself waking up in excitment to this in the morning.

    Reply

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