Someone to Hate

First off, I have to put up a little disclaimer.  Very seldom do my posts venture into the territory of Adult Situations (in fact, I believe ‘juvenile’ is the term most often used to describe…).   This one, however, is potentially a little offensive.   Now if you are easily offended by frank sexual discussions, you should really go fuck yourself.  I don’t care.  BUT sometimes my family reads this, so… Aunt Angie, please kindly skip this post. (Love, your charming nephew)

In the greater scheme of things, my desire is to find someone to love.  Someone to share my life.  To grow old with.  To let me suck on her boobs.   That would be nice.

But I’m a young guy and I don’t have time for all that shit.

Honestly, the current plan is to leave Louisiana next year.  Once I’m settled in Florida, I am all about finding love.  For now though, a girlfriend is a potential hindrance.  I ain’t stayin’.  Not for anything.   Still, I’m horny.   And my right hand is rocking like a body builder.  Assistance is required.

Now you may ask, “Adam, why don’t you have a fuck buddy?”

Well, first of all, fuck you.  The Adam does not merely fuck.   He makes sweet sweet love to all the sexy ladies.

But I don’t think Friends with Benefits is a good idea.  It gets messy.  Feelings always get involved.  And I don’t think sex is worth losing a friend.  Female friends are hard to come by, after all.

No, what I think the situation calls for is someone to hate.  Here me out, I’ve thought this through.

If vengeance is a dish best served cold, sex is best when absolutely sub-zero.  So many of our hang ups about life and sex revolve around the fact that we care what other people think.   So what if you found someone that you couldn’t stand, who couldn’t stand you?  Two people with nothing in common but mutual disdain, who need the release?   You would be free to let out your inner freak!  After all, if she thinks its weird you can just tell her to go to hell.  When you’re done using each other, there’s no need to cuddle. She’ll just leave.  If you finish without her, who gives a shit?  IT’S PERFECT!

Sure there will be drama, but no chance of unfortunate, doomed romance.  And the best part is, you have no fear of being shot down!  Ah, if only I had someone to hate.  Life would be sweet.

Hate: it’s what’s for dinner.

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One response to this post.

  1. But isn’t it tough to make sweet sweet love to someone you hate?

    I think it would be super hot to have a, uh, lover who you both resented and couldn’t resist. You’d have all kinds of hot sex and no extra drama. Maybe an ex would fit this bill?

    Reply

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