Riding Dirty

“You wouldn’t wanna date a girl with an over-sized clit?”

“No; “cause the next step up is a guy with an under-sized dick.”

-Dante and Randall in Clerks 2

I have a bit of a reputation within my circle of friends.  Though I am by far the least experienced among them in quatity, I am by far the freakiest freak nasty fuck they know.  I’m willing to do things they haven’t even seen on TV.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m romantic.  Soft sweet kisses at night. Spooning.  Anal lube.   All good stuff.  But when it comes to sex, I like it down and dirty.

I’m fucked up, I know.  Maybe it’s all the porn that has desensetized me.  I once freaked out a friend by admitting I would be willing to let a girl stick her finger in my ass.  Why not?  If it feels good, it must be worth a try.

And that’s only the beginning,

Choking.  Down with it.  Leather and lace.  Oh yeah.   Handcuffs.  Fuck. Yeah.  Spanking, biting, stroking, sucking, flicking, fucking.  That’s how I like it.   I want a woman who likes it rough and gives as good as she gets.  I want to marry a girl who will throw me against a wall and rape me.  I want to wake up on my birthday with her riding my face like a Shetland Pony.

And positions!!!!   If I can bend that way, I’ll try it at least once.  The wheelbarrow.   The screwdriver. Reverse Cowgirl.  Donkey Fucking.  The Alabama Crab Dangler.  The Cincinatti Titty Grabber. The Pennsylvania Pussy Pounder.  The Tree of Pain.  The Reverse Figure 8.  Bring it on!!!

Sigh.  I just want someone I can love and be my nasty, dirty self with. Is that so much to ask?

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4 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Tits McGee on November 13, 2008 at 11:04 am

    I have never done the choking thing, though one guy I dated suggested it but I was too much of a chickenshit. Maybe I should try it.
    If I end up dead, Im blaming you! 😛

    Reply

  2. Posted by Just Jeff on November 13, 2008 at 1:40 pm

    Whoo-Hoo..total perv myself 🙂 ROCK ON!

    Reply

  3. heh. Doesn’t seem like it, no. Let’s serve that up for everyone all ’round, actually.

    Reply

  4. That doesnt sound like to much to ask for at all, wish my boyfriend were more like you 🙂

    Found your blog through twenty something bloggers by the way, will be adding this to my google reader!

    Reply

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