One Angry Motherfucker

They say that we are judged by the company we keep and how well we keep them.  I keep my company very well, thank you very much.

Today someone fucked with a friend of mine.  Fucked with her bad, and hurt her feelings.  Since then I’ve just been stewing in my own pissed.  You ever want to string some fucker up by the neck and beat’em like a goddamn pinata?

I can deal with quite a bit, but I can’t abide someone fucking with me and mine.  Cannot do it.   I am one angry motherfucker.  And I don’t have a slow dial. I jump from level 1 to level 11.   I don’t fucking retaliate, I escalate the shit to the point where you need to decide if you’re willing to go to hell for it.  And right now the only thing keeping me from jumping that other person’s shit like a gorilla on fucking Chiquita Banana is my friend’s steadfast pleas that I don’t get involved.   And even that leash is testing it’s limits at the moment.

She’s my friend.  It’s as simple as that.  I don’t just have your back.  I’ve got your goddamn shoulder.   It’s not that I don’t think my friends can’t solve their own problems, it’s that they shouldn’t have to.  That’s what family is supposed to be.   You fuck with one of us, you fuck with all of us. 

I’ll be there when there’s a fight because they don’t like us because we’re white.  I’ll be for every fist, gouge and kick. Because we’re friends.  I’ll be there at 4:47 in the fucking morning because you’re too drunk to drive home. Because we’re pals. I’ll be there for you to lean on when your Dad passes away.  Because we’re amigos. I’ll stand by you when you get her pregnant.  Because we’re bro’s.  I’ll loan you money or let you sleep on my couch when things get bad.  Because we’re compadres.  I’ll talk you up to that cute girl you’re afraid to talk to.  Because we’re homeboys.  I’ll tell the cops she said she was 19.  Because we’re comrades.   I’ll dance with you when he stands you up.  Because we’re best friends.   I’ll kick his ass when he breaks your heart.  Because we’re family.   I’ll hold you when you cry and try not to rub my erection against you.  Because we’re BFF’s.   And if necessary, I’ll follow you into hell.  Because we’re best friends.

Thou shalt not fuck with me and mine.  Because so help me, I will devote every ounce of my being to destroying you.   I will not stop, or waver, or falter.  I will take every negative thought you ever had about yourself, and show them to you in 3-D.   And ultimately, I’ll eviscerate you.  Not because I’m smarter, or stronger.  But because I’m a good friend.

Advertisements

2 responses to this post.

  1. Well, here we are with the damn girl tears crap again.

    Thank you.

    Reply

  2. I know. I said I wouldn’t bring it up again.

    It came up again.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: